Be The Flame

June 25, 2018

Dear Diary,

    There is so much that has happened from the near end of 2017 all the way through to present day, half-year mark of 2018. The beginning of this year appeared to be foreshadowed by darkness. I wasn't so sure of what I knew my world to be any longer. I wasn't so sure of myself. It wasn't until I took a look back on that time, a few days ago, that I realized just how rattled and fickle my inner vibrations were. I praise God that I was able to sum up the resilience (indubitably inherited from my mother) needed to ensure that I protect my mind, my spirit, my destiny, and my 2018. If I know nothing else in this world, I know the of the ART OF PUSH THROUGH (another characteristic inherited from my mother, basically a phrase referencing mastered resilience). I turned my negatives into positive. I kept it moving. I took advantage of my silver lining big time. I found myself feeling like it was me vs. the word and somehow I found so much liberation in the concept. However, I recognize that I come across people who resent that or interpret my "push through" as aggressive, egotistical, and selfish because of my by any means necessary attitude for the Cleo J'Adore: SoFlo's Soul Queen brand. I found myself reacting to those notions by trying to not be so "intimidating", allowing others to have a say on who I was and what they envisioned for me and my brand, and speaking up less. NONE OF IT WORKED FOR ME, in fact, it back fired. I was trying to people please without realizing what I was doing. If you've lived long enough in this world interacting with others daily, at one point or another you have learned nobody really wins when you try to "people-please". My vocal coach has given me so much understanding of myself through the study of the voice. My voice is a pure representation of me. It is powerful, bold, loud, and raw. By caring about what I believe would please others and comparing (I really hate that I do that, but I do) my voice and singing style to other singers, I've changed who I really AM. I try to coerce my voice into being pretty, polished, and sweet. But just as I mentioned about myself earlier, me trying to change my voice? BACKFIRED. I couldn't really grow in the space I had provided for myself and I couldn't grow in the space I had provided for my voice which wasn't much space at all. Let's say I am not palatable for every person or audience I encounter and let's say I don't measure up to the standard I hold in my head for myself (as well as my voice). My vocal coach asked me an important question: "Do you care? Do you really care?" Would I stop singing because some people here and there don't like my voice, my song, or singing style? NO. Should I kill myself because I'm not the woman society thinks I should be? NO. What I do is go straight balls to the wall in the pursuit of just being the ultimate me. I am the light for others going through the same darkness and struggles as me. I must comfortably walk, sit, stand and yes, even sing, in my truth so that I can empower the next person. The trick is to not care, and once again like so many of my previous posts/statements we must address fear, doubt, and being apologetic about whatever makes you uniquely you. In that chain-breaking vocal lesson, my vocal coach told me something I've been holding on to ever since. Be the flame not the moth. In other words, shine bright, be fiery, be bold, be proud, and allow others to be attracted to you. I held on to that message it stuck with me, because it was for me. That message stuck with me, so much so, that I knew I had to make it a staple in my brand. I began thinking of ways to make a moth and a candlelight my logo. Maybe just a flame, perhaps? I could see it on dad hats, hoodies, knapsacks, lighters, etc. Time went on, a week or two I'd say and the flamingo is a prominent icon in Florida i.e. the florida lottery. For some reason, it was catching my everywhere I started to take it as a sign. I started to research the bird, becoming obsessed. The word flamingo is portuguese and spanish for "flame colored". Catching on? This name can be attributed to it's BOLD pinkish/blood-red feathers. The flamingo is obviously a notable, distinct looking bird that can be found as a symbol on anything from lawns to jewelry, to purses, to clothing and footwear. I think it's safe to say that the flamingo carries an allure and attraction that many can't deny. The flamingo holds its head up high as if an imaginary crown has been placed there, its flamboyant feathers are unapologetic, the flamingo takes flight freely, speaks up day or night no matter what the time, and has been closely associated with florida for years. Very fitting for South Florida's Soul Queen, don't you think? Wait. Scratch that because I don't care what you think. I proudly present my logo:

Illustration by: @catalystvibes

May my brand forever be synonymous with being  bold, fiery, flamboyant, regal,  speaking up at all times, and of course, being unapologetically you.